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I left a "critique" of Eternum 131 days, during the version 0.2 era.  And before I jump into my next critique, might I just say the fact that Caribdis  responds to virtually every comment left is almost unique in this space. That  by itself, places this creator in the top tier of VN novelists and is worthy of recognition. The fact that they take the time to not only read, but respond is a level of interaction with the fan base that most fan bases can only dream of. Even if it's not necessarily true, it allows the fan base to feel like it has some say in the development of a story that they are emotionally invested in. And in this case, maybe somewhat financially invested in as well. That connection is worth gold I should think in both directions and I sincerely wish more creators would take the time to cultivate that kind of connection with their base. 

Critiques/reviews being what they are, I don't wish to leave the impression that I think 0.3 was some how "bad". That couldn't be further from the truth. I binged it, I enjoyed it, and I can't wait for the next installment. As a creator, you'd have to accept that as a resounding success. But based on reading other comments, Caribdis is not in lack of high praise for their work and while I'm certain all praise is welcomed, all of my commentary for any of these VNs tends to lean towards Review and Critique. I acknowledge given the length of these posts, not many will find it useful. I do this primarily for myself and for the maybe one or two other people who do find it worthwhile. To that end, please feel free to stop reading right here if long posts are not for you.    

So, what about 0.3. IMHO, from the point of opening Calypso's box, installment 0.3 begins to take on a different tone. I can't say the tonal shift was bad; as I previously stated, I can't wait for 0.4.  But at the same time, I'm not yet prepared to say it was good either. Having only finished bingeing 0.3 last night, I'm still kind of processing it all. However, I'm prepared to say for the moment that the tonal shift is absolutely noticeable. Maybe by the end of this commentary, I'll have a clearer perspective. 

Through 0.2, the story, for lack of better words here, sorta felt,,,,,, wholesome? The protagonist was a young innocent "Babyface" if you will. And it's not that the protagonist turns "Heel" in 0.3, but, well, lets just say he's not opposed to going a bit "alpha". Again, not a bad thing. As I previously confessed, I'm typically into darker more carnal VNs. But it's,,,,,, how to say this? If you have children, than you know that there's a transition period in every childes life where they cross a line from being purely innocent and angelic, into adulthood. And I don't know how it plays out for everyone else, but for me, that transition was a mixture of both pride and a profound sadness that comes from knowing they would never again, be children and altogether innocent. I love my children and they are my whole world. But they are adults now, and are now saddled with the curse of adulthood. The curse is that as an adult, none of us can ever be considered "innocent" again. And that's the tonal change that I perceive between 0.2 and 0.3. 

Our protagonist, while still being every bit the "Good Guy", is no longer a child of innocence. When you've reached a point of maturity where you're capable of "face fucking" a woman primarily for your own gratification and sense of power, you have clearly crossed the line into adulthood. And to me, there is something profoundly sad about that. If the protagonist started out as an adult, nothing he does would much phase me. But our protagonist didn't start out as a fully fledged adult even if he was legally of adult age. He was still in many ways, a child. And we are witnessing this child transition. In a strange way, I sort of wish I could protect him from that transition, the same way I wished this for my own children. But as all children must, the protagonist is growing up, and he is not the same character in 0.3 that he was through 0.2 

Hmmmm,,, so while I do indeed find this transition sad, as a bit of story telling, I have to come down on the side of this being good. The fact that yet again, the author has found a way to make an emotional impact  is in my opinion a mark of a good story. While there's certainly adult content here, this for sure isn't your run of the mill VN. I don't know if this transition was intentional, or if it just organically flowed out of advancing novel. But intentional or not, it's a transition and tonally the story is shifting in (my opinion) a realistic fashion. So,,,,, now I think this was overall a real win for the story. There certainly is a depth to the story that goes beyond the surface level story we're reading. And it's a depth that I've only found in just a relative handful of other VNs. I guess on reflection, Caribdis continues killing it at this point. 

I will say however, 0.3 did take some,,,,,,,,, erm,,,, turns? That at first blush seem altogether out of step with the story through 0.2. There were some points in 0.3 (as in multiple points) where I had to stop for a moment and ask myself the question; "What The Actual Fuck Is Going On Here?" It's like, how the hell did we end up HERE? Keep in mind, there is a real world mystery going on. Eternum is straight up murdering  people. At the same time, all the characters are very clearly invested in, and perfectly happy too, keep enjoying the "game". Even when at times remembering that they're supposed to be digging into the sinister side of Eternum, their adventures always seem to turn into just that. Adventures. Adventures that they cherish and wish to have more of.  This is a stark juxtaposition to the FACT that Eternum is literally murdering people. 0.2 felt,,,,, grounded to reality. While 0.3 is feeling like it's becoming very untethered to reality. Maybe this is being done intentionally and I'll get to that in a moment. But the transition is very noticeable, a bit jarring, and confusing. 

Now at first blush, my kneejerk reaction was that this all amounted to horrible writing. I was genuinely concerned that this story that I was so invested in and looking forward too was going off the rails.  But I've had some time now to absorb what's happening and I'm not so convinced anymore. The real question is; is what's happening in the story haphazard and "Shooting from the hip" because the author has lost the thread of their own story? Or, is this all very much intentional and there is a far deeper story being told than just the surface level story we're reading? I sincerely don't know. From my perspective as a consumer of VNs, one doesn't really expect a "Deep Story" out of these "smut" novels. So, when something begins looking like there's a lot more going on then what's expected, I cynically tend to lean into skepticism; like I must be reading way more into this story than the story deserves.  

If I give the author the benefit of the doubt however, I could make the case that there's an underlying commentary going on concerning how such futuristic technology would impact society. The question becomes, even in the face of blatant murder, is this technology so invasive to the human mind that murder takes a back seat? "Yea, Eternum is straight up murdering people, but it's totally worth the price". And how about the very bizarre "Turns" the story takes. Those moments when you think the story is going completely off the rails? Is this meant to illustrate how the game effects or is warping peoples perception of reality? 

Does Eternum have an even darker side than murder? Is Eternum actually altering peoples perception of reality and re-writing what "normal" means in the real world? Is Eternum altering the real world? While everyone is too distracted and busy seeking to be the king or queen of the Eternum Universe, is Eternum actually conquering the real world? Bending the real world towards the ends of one person or handful of persons? Are the bizarre rabbit holes 0.3 takes us down meant to illustrate this?  

The fact of the matter is, I don't know and I can't really tell. If this is being done on purpose, it's hands down brilliant and something that I was completely not expecting out of a VN like this. Like, we're starting to enter Matrix 1 levels of story telling here (we won't talk about 2 and 3). Alternatively, it's also possible that the author has just lost the thread of their own story and there is no deeper subtext.  

I brought up Game Of Thrones up in my last critique and I'm doing it again now. GoT circa season 2 had nothing but potential. An epic story was unfolding. GoT could have been, in competent hands, a record breaking success that future stories would aspire too for many years, or maybe even decades or more to come.  But we all know what happened to GoT in the end.  I'm sensing a deja vu feeling with Eternum. Potentially, this story could be epic in it's conclusion. There is nothing but potential right now (we're sort of in that season two era of GoT). Are we witnessing an incredible depth of storytelling unfolding right now? Or are we witnessing someone shooting from the hip and making "Stuff" up as they go along? Is this all just a "stream of consciousness" flowing out? Or is there a real plan at work here? 

I want very much to give Caribdis the benefit of the doubt and assume that we're witnessing a really deep story unfolding that's already been planed out (more or less) to the end, and really, Caribdis is just fleshing out the bones at this point. Taken in the only context we currently have, 0.3 was,,,, weird,,,, in it's storytelling and sort of feels out of sync with the story through 0.2. But, maybe context is the key here. Maybe we simply don't have all the context needed yet to make proper sense of 0.3. I strongly want to believe that as the story advances, that context will start to come into focus and it will all come together. So, for now the game is very much Caribdis's to win or lose. The potential is all there and for the time being at least, I'm still very much onboard this ride. 

Concerning the Game Eternum:

Of VN Games, I've played my share. I've played what I consider to be really good ones, and really bad ones. And while generally speaking Haram/lovey dovey games aren't really my goto's or speed, this game is hands down one of the top 5 games I've played to date (I've played around 60+/- VN's). Eternum's not without flaws. There are scenes I'd like to see smoothed and or fleshed out. There are things I think could be done or handled better. But having recently (last 5 months) started to dabble in the world of creating a visual novel of my own, and now having a solid appreciation for the sheer amount of effort and money required to make these things, any criticisms I may have of Eternum V0.2 are to be understood from that context. Or more simply, the creator is doing an excellent job and one needs to keep in mind perspective. If you don't know what goes into making a visual novel, I suggest going ahead and jumping in. The tools you need are basically free up front. You can learn A LOT about making a VN without spending a dime. And you will quickly learn that making a VN of even the crappiest quality is not exactly easy. Making a Top Quality VN is,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well lets just say you have to be a special kind of person to do this work. So while I have criticisms, I'm also acknowledging the incredible work that's been done on Eternum. It's certainly one of the top five VN's i've played. 

I was not at all excited by the synopsis of this game when I ran into it months ago. In fact, the only reason I decided to give it a try is because SadCrab suggested it and I've found that if SadCrab suggests something, it's probably worth having a look at. And boy was I glad I did. The premise of this story is actually brilliant if you think about, because it could be epically huge. The creator could spend the rest of their lives making content for this if they wanted to. There's also the potential for hundreds of spin off stories in this universe. Being a once upon a time World of Warcraft addict, I'd love to see a story based in this universe seeing these or even different characters journeying through adventures while leveling up for example. 

As it is, there were genuinely emotional moments in 0.2. It's not often that I'm emotionally impacted by VN's. It's not exactly a nonstop attack on your senses. But it doesn't need to be. There have been many what I would consider to be worthwhile VN's that didn't have an emotional impact on me whatsoever. In the case of Eternum, there were a few moments when I genuinely chuckled, and there were a few moments when I was genuinely empathetic to a character. I don't know if I can express how rare that is for me and one of these VN's. While emotional impact is not a prerequisite for me in any VN, moments like this certainly seperate "Good" VN's from "REALLY GREAT" VN's.  While I'm typically more into the darker VN's that focus primarily on porn content, I was struck by how I was pulled into this story for,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well, the story. I haven't felt that way about a VN since DMD.  I binged this VN to the end of 0.2 and I was disappointed that there wasn't more. Frankly, I can't wait for 0.3.

If I have criticisms,,,, (I don't know if criticism is even the right word here but I'm at a loss), then it's down to how little x rated content there actually is. Given the nature of the story, I'm not suggesting that there should be LOADS MORE. But the x rated content is a bit sparse in my opinion and what you do have is sort of,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well I guess I'd say that it leaves me wanting in the best cases. In the worst cases, the x rated content is sort of wonky in that it feels out of the blue or sort of forced in. Almost like the creator realized "holy crow it's been a while since we had any boobies so better stick some in here". It can be somewhat jarring in particular moments. In other cases its like a bit more chilli powder would really be appreciated. 

In a weird way, the story is so good, the way the porn aspect is handled is almost awkward. No,,, I think it IS awkward. It's like have you ever been to a Tilted Kilt restaurant (google it if you don't have one in your area)? Nobody likes to see crazy sexy woman wearing next to nothing more than I do. But there is a time and a place. In fact, my experience at our local Tilted Kilt was so awkward that I never went back after the first visit. The poor girls are just trying to serve you a burger and fries and everyone is either too embarrassed to look (which is the whole damn point), or otherwise guilty of looking,,, (which is the whole damn point). As it turns out, I don't want a beautiful young scantily clad woman to serve me a burger and fries in the middle of the afternoon while TOTALLY objectifying her. Even a friggin total pervert like me has lines that I won't cross. I just felt bad for them and I felt ashamed for even being there in the first place. And that's sort of kind of sort of how I feel with Eternum. The x rated parts and the story seem to me to be a bit out of sync. Compare this with HBO's game of thrones (the good seasons). They blended porn with a great story and it WORKED! (until it didn't work). So an epic story and porn are not mutually exclusive. In fact,  porn can when done well, elevate a story to new levels. Many would say that G.O.T the story was a great story (until it wasn't). Very few people would argue that the porn scenes were unwelcome in G.O.T and a detriment to the story. A great story with great supporting pornography? I'm all in. I feel like Eternum could use some help blending these two things a bit better. That of course is just one man's opinion. 

And lastly on the criticism list, while I genuinely LOVE the Eternum story, I do feel like parts of it could be fleshed out a bit better. Parts of it feel a bit thin and bare. One of THEE BEST scenes in Eternum thus far was the whole Red Herring house Sequence. Just spectacular. Another scene worth mentioning was the sequence with Alex and her grandmother. I actually had to stop for a few minutes and compose myself. I mean to say, no VN has the right to have such an emotional impact.  But the fact that it did, when I finally got back to the VN, I was like "Holy SHIT that was good". My paternal instincts were yanked on super hard for this pixelated bit of artwork. In that moment, I've rarely ever wanted to white knight someone so hard. Well Played sir, Well played. Juxtapose scenes like these against other scenes in the story though, and you will see what I mean about some feeling thin and bare. Once you set a bar height, it's obvious, sometimes painfully obvious, when other scenes fall well shy of that mark. See, this is genuinely a great story already, but with more work, the bits we have already could be even that much better. I recognise what I'm suggesting isn't just a trivial ask. Fleshing and rounding out the story we already have would require a significant additional investment of time. And I understand that every creator has to draw lines in the sand. But the story is so good, as a reader, you can't help but want to see the story reach 100% of it's potential. And right now (somewhat arbitrarily) I'm saying the story we have is only reaching like 80% of its potential. 

Anyone that likes VN's of any description should give this VN its due. It's worth your time. It's easily one of the top 5 best VN's that I've read thus far and that's even given the fact that this flavor of adult VN isn't normally in my wheelhouse. I'm looking forward to following this project through to completion.